Day 64

Day 64: The day when I start giving author interviews and feel incredibly sheepish.

You can read my first one here.

It is also the day I get a mention in a famous consulting firm's "Book Club" newsletter (and not even BM's!).  Apparently, ITPI is the perfect indulgent honeymoon beach read. I may be the only one to find that ironic.

I love capitalism as much as the next "muesli-chewing, sandal-wearing, bike-riding pedestrian". Mostly because the open marketplace reveals the many guilty pleasures that people publicly disdain but privately enjoy. To that end, this month's book club edition is devoted to "guilty reading pleasures". These are the books you might not leave out on your coffee table. They're the comics you might hide inside the GMAT study guide. They are the tabloid magazines you say you never buy and the airport thrillers you'd never pick up in front of a case team. It's the chick lit that is piled under your bed. Ultimately, guilty reading pleasures are a bit like eating a family-sized block of chocolate by yourself – it feels a bit sinful, but is nonetheless very enjoyable.

We caught Hot-Shot Female Consultant (my insert, obviously) in week 1 back from her honeymoon, which provided lots of time to fuel her love for trashy novels…

...

Anything else in the trashy genre that you'd recommend?

"In the Past Imperfect" by Isabelle Solal. I actually read it because the author is friends with Ozzie Chick (ok, the actual newsletter doesn't call her that).  It's about a high flying lawyer who loses a client, takes a leave of absence and spends six months in Paris with her sister where she re-meets an old love. The way she describes her life at work is very relatable to our lives at (insert name of firm); the challenge of trying to balance her personal life and her career aspirations, and not being able to ignore the blackberry!

Self promotion

Self publishing is all about self promotion.  Harass your friends to buy your book.  Harass your friends to write reviews.  Once you have no more friends, start harassing complete strangers.

Turns out, that's not just for self publishing.  Great article in the NY Times today about self-promotion by writers' past.  This tidbit regarding my countrymen made me particularly proud:

In “Lost Illusions,” Balzac observes that it was standard practice in Paris to bribe editors and critics with cash and lavish dinners to secure review space, while the city was plastered with loud posters advertising new releases. In 1887, Guy de Maupassant sent up a hot-air balloon over the Seine with the name of his latest short story, “Le Horla,” painted on its side. In 1884, Maurice Barrès hired men to wear sandwich boards promoting his literary review, Les Taches d’Encre. In 1932, Colette created her own line of cosmetics sold through a Paris store. (This first venture into literary name-licensing was, tragically, a flop).

A hot air balloon.  Of course!  Now why didn't I think of that?

Day 19

Not even three weeks and I'm already exhausted.  Facebook posts, facebook page, twitter account, various "writers' groups", this blog... Trying to get my book out there is like a full-time job.

Which, I suppose, is why agents and publishers do still make a living.  It's also probably slightly less humiliating selling someone else than selling yourself.

So I need a break.  I have run out of ideas and inspiration.  I have run out of shameless chutzpah.  I have run out of the positive vibes needed when you realize sales have flat-lined and your Amazon rank has plummeted to below sea level.

So.... I'm going on vacation.  One week in Brazil full of NOT checking Amazon.  NOT tweeting.  NOT re-posting news items on Kindle and the advent of the e-book revolution.

One whole week of NOT being a failed writer, but instead focusing on being a failed beach bum.

Heaven.

Day 7

Almost one week. And my biggest problem is marketing.

How do you sell an e-book when no one has ever heard of you?  How do you sell an e-book when you don't have a publisher or agent helping you out?

Or, really, how do you sell an e-book?

Step 1: Facebook

I have 194 facebook friends (I purged last year - maybe that was a mistake).  I have posted about the book 9 times since it "came out".  I've managed to convince 7 people to re-post the link.  In technical market terms, my conversion rate is crap.

Step 2: Author page

Amazon told me to make an author page.  I made an author page.  Didn't quite know what to put on it.  Is the idea that people will buy and read the book because they like my picture?  Does anyone actually choose books based on author photo? (seriously, do they?)  Besides, in order to see my photo, they would first need to have found the book, a current impossibility (unless you're my facebook friend and therefore, I assume, remember what I look like).

Step 3: Shameless publicity

Mention my book in Amazon forums (fora?).  Mention my book in a cheeky Jane Austen list.  Create an entire blog devoted entirely to myself and my budding novelist career.

Groan.

So, let's take a look at the stats so far:
- Sales on US website: 22
- Sales on UK website: 4
- Reviews: 2
- Amazon sales rank: whatever

Desperately needed: a legendary marketing guru who can make me achieve my full potential and reach what I have now decided is my goal of 300 sales in 100 days... What do you think?  Are you the one for the job?

(Please pop a photo on your application please - heck, if I have to do it...)